I'dmarryagainifI found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half of it to me before the marriage, and guarantee he’d be dead within a year.
Ethel sat twiddling with her hair; a habit left over from childhood, and read the message on the screen.
‘Hi Babe, got the photo, Wow! Always knew you’d be a looker.’
She smiled and typed in. ‘Touche, you’re not so bad yourself, that tan and the hairy chest, Mm. Yummy.’
‘Now can we meet?’ came the reply.
‘Don’t know about that, you might only want my body.’ She giggled at the thought.
‘I’d love your body, but some how I don’t think it would suit me.’
Ethel frowned for a moment, then smiled at the weak joke, she had always been a bit slow on the uptake.
‘Oh, you,’ she typed. ‘You know what I mean.’
‘Yes I do, but we’ve been friends for a while now and I think it’s time we met.’
Ethel thought so too, they had been chatting like this for over a year, but still she dithered.
‘I don’t know, maybe we should wait a little longer.’
‘Why? We’re both single, more or less the same age, and have the same taste in food and music. Come on, Babe put me out of my misery and set a date.’
She was tempted, but could not help wondering what Maureen would say. Her elder sister still tended to treat her like a child. Oh to hell with it, I can do what I want.
Her fingers typed the reply, before she could change her mind.
‘OK I’ll meet you in the Big Market.’
‘When?’
‘Monday, 6-30, outside the Greek restaurant.’
As they continued to chat she did not hear the door open, nor was she aware that Maureen was behind her until she spoke.
‘Who the hell is Obeone?’
Startled, Ethel could only splutter a reply, ‘He’s a friend; we chat on the Internet all the time.’
‘And who is Princess Leha?’
‘That’s me, it’s a name I use on the Internet.’
‘Is that, him?’ Maureen asked, ‘Nodding towards the small picture in the corner of the screen, ‘he looks a bit young for you, and what’s this about you being a looker? You haven’t sent him a photo?’
Ethel tried to slide the face down photo under the keyboard, but Maureen pounced and grabbed it from her.
‘My God this was taken at your 21st.’ retorted Maureen.
‘But it’s only a tiny deception, everybody does it, no doubt his photo is a few years old too.’
‘So you have both sent photos that bear no resemblance to how you look now, how on earth are you going to recognise each other?’
‘Easy he’ll wear a red baseball cap, I’ll wear my Magpie’s tee-shirt.’
‘Got it all worked out haven’t you? But you’ve forgotten one thing.'
‘What’s that?’
‘They won’t let you on the bus with your Zimmer frame.'
Ethel sat twiddling with her hair; a habit left over from childhood, and read the message on the screen.